The more I breathe this air...

Now that I'm in the normal cycle of things, I've noticed a clarity. This stems not from what I think is best for me only from an economic standpoint, but from one that I base my life on. The clarity is this:

St. Mary's University will not be my home next year.

Why?

Simple. It feels too much like home. I know, wherever I go there will always be some semblance of the place that came before, but this is completely different. It's not San Antonio. San Antonio is great. However, St. Mary's is an island unto itself and it's WAY too much like the little village I came from. What I wanted was something bigger than me. An experience that lifted me off the ground and sent me places I never have experienced. Here, I'm surrounded by catholics (A majority of them being hispanic). This is not a bad thing, but I want more. It seems too familiar.

Here, organizations are few and uninteresting. I love getting involved, but it's hard doing so when they're all based on religion. Color me ignorant, but I thought there would be some organizations void of religious affiliation.

I've met great people here. I love my english class! My Residence Hall friends are awesome. We crammed for a sociology exam last week and it looks like we all did pretty well. My roommate, well, he's a great guy....just too damn lazy! I think he sees "assiduous Josh" and gets a little intimidated by the fact that I work my ass off. The problem is that most people in this hall are for everything but what college is actually about. Some are here because college is what you arbitrarily do after high school. He's super smart, but hangs with a group that holds to that philosophy. To his own detriment, he may not realize this until Mid-Terms.

I've already re-applied to Texas. And yes, my friends are thrilled.

I'm not going to bitch and curse myself because of my decision to come here, but I will take advantage of my time here.

As to whether I'm going to attend St. Mary's next semester has yet to be decided. However, I am considering working during the Spring and starting courses in the summer at UT.

I also want an internship, so I'm going to look for one. I can work and intern. I have so many options. I just think the smart thing is to know my options early and methodically make that decision when the appropriate time comes.

I just know that going to school in an institution that I can't see myself growing in is not one of them.